Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
