He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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