i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
