I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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