she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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