She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I enjoy the company of your penis
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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