who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
