Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
