sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize