is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
