found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
