I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
