id be glad to
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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