i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We left the knife in your bed.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
