I heard we made out
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
