barbara walters just said penis...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
