if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
