she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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