yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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