Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You work out of a Hotel?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
