i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
