I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
3pm strippers are depressing
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
