Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This is my gift to your gina
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize