If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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