That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
