ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
