..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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