New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
