great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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