Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
