idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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