Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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