I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
