I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
