Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
