I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize