help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
