Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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