I CAN MOONWALK!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
