Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize