wat bout pragnant strippers??
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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