to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
