Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
