Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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