she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize