all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
