your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
