Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
