so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like a drive thru vagina
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
