you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
