And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize