so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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