I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my shit smells like andre
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
