Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
