I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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