You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
