Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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