Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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