if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
