in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
