you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
