awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize