This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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